Motherhood, Christmas, 2017… Crap

If you attach the words “maternity,” “motherhood” or “nursing” to an article of clothing, such as a maternity shirt or a nursing tank top, then said article of clothing is automatically 50 percent more expensive.

I don’t have actual math of this, but I did spend $60 on four tank tops at Target that — were they not nursing tank tops — would have cost me half as much. Target has great deals on tank tops, unless the tank tops have two special clips for easy baby access. The same goes for nursing bras, which are — unfortunately — very necessary for, you know, nursing. I also bought a “sports” nursing bra — in which I will NEVER do vigorous exercise — that was ridiculously expensive. I might be able to do yoga in it. (It’s super comfy so I’m not too mad about it’s near uselessness.)

Motherhood. It’s a racket.

I have made it through the majority of my pregnancy without having to buy too many articles of maternity clothing thanks to the generous donations of friends and family. Four pairs of leggings, several T-shirts and sweaters. Plus, many of my clothes are drapey, long or stretchy enough to fit over top of my bump.

But I do have to buy after-pregnancy clothing because, apparently, I won’t fit into my super pregnant clothes or my regular, not pregnant clothes. Women still look and feel pretty pregnant sans fetus.

Super.

Bah! I’d rather spend money on Christmas!

WHICH IS NEXT WEEK HOW WHEN ACK

I don’t know why I thought it’d be a good idea to have a baby this close to the holidays.

Sure, I have the pregnant lady super power of never being cold, even when it’s below freezing; and, sure, I don’t have to deal with the humid heat of the Kansas summer nine months pregnant.

But, seriously, Thanksgiving… Christmas… New Year’s… my anniversary… my due date… What. Was. I. Thinking.

I didn’t even decorate :(

I don’t think I will decorate, either. What happens if I go into labor before taking Christmas decorations down? Well, then it’s just Christmas in my house for… like… weeks.

The most Christmas decor I’ll get this year is a little white tree at work decked out in Starbucks ornaments (which is super cute).

starbucks-2016-christmas-ornaments
Look at the tiny French press!

The baby’s room is almost done! That’s as good as Christmas decorations, right?

My husband and my father-in-law put together his crib Friday night, and I layered a quilted mattress pad, waterproof pad, crib sheet, another water proof pad and another crib sheet on this afternoon. If baby has a blowout in the middle of the night, I’ll just tear off a layer and put him back to bed. (I can’t find where I read this advice.)

I just need to install shelves and get command strips to hang wall art, and then we will be DONE, people!

I’m also prepping bedside diaper and snack stations for middle-of-the-night wake-up cries and nursing sessions. (I also can’t find where I read this advice.)

bedside-diaper-station-snack-station-nursing

Baby’s hospital bag is packed; my hospital bag is packed; my pump is in a separate tote bag; and my husband still needs to pack his hospital bag.

That’s four hospital bags.

That’s too many bags.

I might have to consolidate…

There’s a lot of advice out there about what should and should not be taken to the hospital on D-Day. Check out my mama shae Pinterest board for all the advice I’ve been reading.

Forewarning, there’s boobs on it.

In my effort to de-clutter my house before giving birth, I did make the mistake of throwing away excess travel size shampoos and conditioners. So… now I have to get new ones.

travel-size-beauty-products-hospital-bag
I threw them all away… Years old containers. Still probably perfectly good.

Sigh…

We’re almost ready for the final countdown, folks. Baby in T minus four weeks.

Let’s do this.

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