Need a six-pack? Get rid of the keg.

Big. Girl. Job. (Details to come soon!)

A continuation of my past requests to the athletic gods for ab definition

I need an ab.

Just one.



I know more about fitness now than I did then so I am happy to provide you with more information. Check out the links for more details.

Ab definition is pointless if the defined ab muscles are covered in a squishy layer of fat, which is quite my problem. I feel my abs, and they feel great, but I do not see my abs.


The abdominals have three layers: the transverse abdominals, internal and external obliques and the rectus abdominis (from deepest to most superficial).

Transverse abdominals hold your insides… inside… and are the WORST place to accumulate fat (causes heart disease and diabetes and whatnot). The obliques crisscross the abdomen, and the rectus abdominis are the actual muscles we see.

According to, in order to see the six-pack, you have to strengthen all of your abdominal muscles and burn fat all over your body.

Crunches will not be a quick fix. While crunches will tone your abs, crunches do not burn fat all over the body. You have to get moving: running, jogging, walking, swimming – all burn calories.

Lucky for me, I fell in love with running.

According to Jane Unger Hahn for Runner’s World, running is one of the most efficient ways to burn calories, which, in turn, burns fat. And remember when Ashley told me running gave her ab definition?

For every mile you run, you can burn 100 calories. If you run a 10-minute mile, you will burn about 500 calories in five miles under an hour.

Holy. Crap. TELL. ME. MORE.

Unger created three plans, all of which are outlined in the article, based on increasing mileage and increasing intensity – both of which will increase your fitness.

I like Plan 3!

Food and diet are important, too. Reduce the amount of calories you eat, and eat high-fiber, lean protein foods. I hear blueberries actually burn belly fat… in lab rats.

Women’s Health Magazine hands out free workouts if you sign up with their site. Yes. I get spam, but I have a separate email address for spam.

I recommend the WH 20-Minute Workout Series Part 1-The Core, the Lose Your Belly 15-Minute Workout and the Abs Diet Workout Plan, which you have to buy to get the whole thing, but it comes with a diet, and a book.

Note: When you hear something like a “15-minute workout,” do not assume your abs will look better in 15 minutes.

And, in reference to the headline, if you really want to lose weight and tone your abs, lay off all kegs – and six packs, for that matter ;) (Do not tempt me with pumpkin beer.)

Which running plan do you want to try?

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