Old habits die hard…

Monday will begin the sixth week of the semester. And, as I have predicted I would, I am officially falling behind in my classes. Boo.

I do not like falling behind. I do not like making sacrifices for a schedule that involves putting school anything but first. I do not like it!

Because of my inability to accept falling behind, which I consider graduate student failure, I have chosen to put school FIRST and everything else… last (whenever school is done).

Why is this a bad thing when it sounds like such a responsible thing?

Well, “everything else” includes dieting and exercising, and that’s not good. It is especially not good for these few (hundred) reasons…

  1. I am STRESSED out, and, instead of going to the gym in the afternoon, I spend hours in my office at school working, researching and reading textbooks and journal articles. This does not help my stress; I know a super-charged workout will… but do I go? No.
  2. My time is precious, and I don’t like running out of time. I feel like I’m running out of time right now! In order to save time, I often focus so fully on something that I forget to eat… for hours and hours and hours and hours and… You get the idea. When I finally do eat, I gorge and feel like poo. What sucks even more is that I don’t even feel hungry until it is just too late to stop my fridge-raid.
  3. I miss my friends, but I often put them even farther down the list of “things (people)” because I feel that they love me and will forgive me for dropping them off at the bus station instead of taking them all the way home. (That analogy just came to me. It’s not very good…)
  4. I want to cook dinner, a healthful dinner, every night for Husband and I to enjoy before he goes to work. However, instead of cooking, I’m studying or researching or organizing my binders and binders of readings and notes for school. I consistently forget to thaw some sort of meat for dinner or find a new recipe to enjoy. We end up eating Subway. Not fun.
  5. My dog is SO excited it is getting warmer and the snow is gone so he can go for walks and play outside. However, Husband sleeps during the day (when I’m spending my life inside my house in front of a computer screen), and the dog drives me CRAZY. This is why I don’t have children. You can’t put children after something. Thankfully, you can put a dog after school, and he’s just going to have to deal with it for now.

Well, that’s really only five reasons, not hundreds. I could think of more, but I don’t want to bore you all with my depressing-ness. I figure my failure to exercise, diet, see my friends, cook dinner for my husband and walk my dog is a good enough sample of all of the things I should be doing but not doing.

What is my sixth miserable fail?

My blog.

I have a feeling, in the very near future, that I will forfeit my resolution to blog daily. I have already failed at this twice (I’m keeping track).

Boo. Hiss.

I has a super sad about this whole thing!

But I have work to do. Not only do I have to worry about my three classes (each with its own research project) as well as a conference I need to prepare for in April (with another research project), but I have something like 48 students whose lives I don’t want to mess up because of speech class. Most of the time, my students come before my school… And, often, that’s the way it has to be.

I guess I am telling you all of this because I feel bad that I will not be blogging much for you, not be creating new entries for Dinner Tonight or the Journal Series, not finding new workouts and diet tips and secrets, not giving you (probably no good) advice about keeping your skin, hair and face healthy and beautiful…

Just NOT doing the things that I want to do because I have responsibilities to the things that I promised myself and others that I will do.

I want a master’s degree, at least, and I want to learn new and exciting things (being the student I am), so it is not that much a sacrifice in my mind.

In my stomach and abdominal area, however, yes… it’s a bloody sacrifice. :(

Forgive me friends, but I have research to get through (BP oil spill, feminist critiques of television witches and their husbands/boyfriends, cyberbullying and approach/avoidance techniques between husbands and wives).

How I got stuck studying FOUR different things this semester I’ll never know.

Until next time, probably late late tonight… I still have a few makeup tips for my bride-to-be friends. It’s coming girls!