Journal stories: Secrets of a bored girl

Sometime around my junior year of college I decided it would be a great idea to write down all of the interesting information I found in a journal, which would be totally normal if it weren’t for the fact that it is completely random and makes no sense.

Let me explain.

I bought A Redwall Journal (actually what it’s called) and filled it with non-Redwall related things.

For example, my first entry is from Yoga Journal, and it is about soft hands and buttering up, which sounds dirty, but it’s not. I promise.

Soft Hands Recipe

Mix 1 cup of sugar with 3 cups of whole milk or cream. Scoop up wet sugar and exfoliate hands, spending extra time on dry-prone knuckles and cuticles. Soak hands in remaining liquid for 5 minutes. Let the milk fat and lactic acid soften skin.

Never buy lotion again. Just spend way too much money on milk, which is currently $3.69 a gallon at my local Dillon’s grocery store.

Other entries are about which sunscreens are good for your skin and why laughter is good for your chemistry (not the class –nothing is good for that). I also have stuff in there about Indian head massages, Ayurvedic sleep aids and what colors people should eat to be healthy.

I have four journals filled with random tidbits of information like this without any purpose. I am working on journal number five. I could be using these journals for real reasons like… I don’t know… journaling. But I’d rather blog.

(Oh my God, you guys! As I was flipping through my awesome journals, I found this awesome picture I drew in high school, which I still think is awesome even though it’s less than half of a woman’s head in yellow and brown. I wanted to share that with you.)

One of those journals is almost completely filled with how to be a good parent and natural healing remedies for when your kids are sick, but I don’t have real children, just the crappy fake ones covered in fur. Don’t get made at me PETA, I love them still. So I will not bother with that one and bore you all to death.

Here is an entry in what I am assuming is journal number two:

Cut 100’s of Calories! (It says the same thing everyone says, and I think I found it in Self or Women’s Health Magazine, but, like I said, these journals are really old.)

  • Eat slowly
  • Eat egg-beaters in the morning (60 calories)
  • Eat until you’re 80% full and then wait fifteen minutes –I always drink a lot of water first or after I eat so I fill up that way. Peeing is a frequent activity of mine.
  • Sauté in broth, not oil
  • Cook more to eat less (basically = fat food is bad for you)
  • Order off the kids’ menu, even if the restaurant says “No one under 12” (What are they going to do? Tell you no? Doubt it.)

There are more, but they’re boring and common sense crap that I know now but didn’t three years ago.

All of these journals are filled with diet, fitness and LOTS of beauty tips. I should have been blogging ages ago, but I used to think blogging was stupid and didn’t do it for that reason. I no longer think like that! Don’t leave!

I will probably share an abnormal amount of the boring material in my journals with you via this blog because deep down I still think it’s relevant to my life.

(Oh my God, you guys! The ink color in journal number three is purple and green. I used to be so much fun! This journal has a woman in a dress on the front smoking a cigarette with the caption: “she had not yet decided whether to use her power for good… or for evil.” Most of the time, I would choose evil because it’s funnier. But, for you guys, I’ll be good, but only a little. Inside, the entries are mostly about yoga and getting ready to be a bride.)

These journals, unlike journal number five, henceforth referred to as 5 (the newest), are only filled with information. 5 is also filled with my sad. I’m not going to share a whole lot of that because it’s depressing.

Anyway, be prepared for rando bits of info which will be super awesome and rando. Thank you.


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