NO LONGER FREEZING, which begs the question… (sweating)

My furnace is fixed. That’s good. Well, now it’s really hot in the house because the furnace is not really fixed -it’s kind of fixed. So, now my furnace just continues to get hotter and hotter and hotter until it dies, which begs the question…

How many calories does sweating burn?

Most of the time, when you are sweating, you are burning calories, although not as many as when you are exercising to purposefully burn calories, according to a top-rated Google search result, which is hardcore good news for me.

Not only is this post about my furnace sort of working again, it is also about how I sweat like a man.

When not moving or doing anything vigorous or strenuous, I sweat… a lot. My armpits are always wet, which my husband thinks is gross, but usually only when I attack him with them. Yes. I attack Husband with my armpits, and he freaks out, and it’s hilarious. He cannot be too mad at me though because his armpits have hair, and that’s gross. Of course, it would be totally weird if he shaved them. That, and I would have to buy him a different razor.

Anyway, the point is that I sweat like a man for no reason. It doesn’t smell bad though. I don’t have epic B.O.

When I’m teaching class in the freezing cold room (I teach in two different rooms and one of them is below zero), I still sweat. I could be wearing a tank top and shivering to death in freezing cold weather, and my armpits would still be perspiring. You know those commercials with women who talk about “sweating more than the average woman…” That’s me, and those special deodorants don’t work. Just get one that smells good.

According to Debra Ronca for How Stuff Works Health, excessive sweating happens for many reasons, and some people just sweat more than others (me). However, sometimes people sweat because of pregnancy, thyroid problems and diabetes, among other horrible things, which are dangerous and usually mean you’re overweight too. I may have to go to the doctor. (Maybe pregnancy is not horrible. I don’t know.)

I guess if I’m burning some calories while teaching, that’s good. Unfortunately, you do not burn calories when sweating in a sauna. Whatever myth that was, it is not true. Saunas will not make you lose weight so just stop it.

Also, people who fix furnaces are creepy. “Kevin,” the furnace guy, came to my house today and tried to fix my furnace and felt the need to explain to me what he was doing. I don’t know stuff about furnaces, that’s why we called! Stop talking to me and get out of my house. After he was done, he sat in my driveway forever, and finally left when I left the house to do laundry. (Wednesday is laundry day this week because of Thanksgiving messing me up by being on Thursday, which is normal laundry day.)

I’m just saying. Heater people are creepy. Husband was asleep so I couldn’t snuggle him and be like, “Yeah, this is my husband, and he’ll kick your ass!” I wouldn’t have done that anyway because I’m a great big wimp and “Kevin” seemed pretty nice… just really weird.

(OMG! My foot itches really bad.)